Here she comes to save the day: PIPETGIRL!

Stacey Ritz

June 24, 2015

Editor's Note: Here is a guest post by Stacey Ritz. We put it in pink so that people with girl-eyes could read it.

[Image of a blonde woman wearing a lab coat with the following text: "Lab Science"]

Editor’s Note: I am SO GLAD she is pointing to the lab so that my girl brain can find the way there

ATTENTION WOMEN SCIENTISTS: It’s not our propensity for falling-in-love/being-falled-in-love-with (#distractinglysexy),or all the weeping (I’ve been drinking PBS to rehydrate myself), or our inferior genes, or our lack of original thoughts, or our “belligerent moods ", that have been that have been holding us back in the laboratory…it has been the lack of an appropriately feminine pipettor! And thank goodness those dark days of marginalization are over, because there is now the PIPETGIRL. ((heaves sigh of relief))

[Image of a pink pipettor]

Editor’s Note: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING MORE FEMININE?!

According to Integra Biosciences, features of the PIPETGIRL that distinguish it from the PIPETBOY are:

• "A significant weight reduction…", which is something we all want, AMIRITE LAYDEEZ, I mean I have to fit into this size 2 lab coat before the lab photo next Friday.
• "....Lighter, with only 195 grams and an optimized ergonomic balance", because our dainty lady-hands can’t handle the bulky heft of the PIPETBOY acu2, which weighs in at a hefty 195 grams ….oh hey wait, that’s the same. They must mean the PIPETBOY pro then, the one that weighs 190 grams. Um, what? SO WHAT IS IT LIGHTER THAN? LIGHTER THAN WHAT? THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT I TELL YOU, my hands are going to get all cramped.
• "Faster, the new Turbo Mode provides the unit with 20% extra pipetting speed." That way we can save 10 minutes aliquoting the media and get home in time to make dinner before hubby and the kids start whining.
• "Longer operating time due to the latest lithium ion battery technology." Just like women live longer than men, so the PIPETGIRL outlasts the PIPETBOY.

PLUS BONUS PINKWASHING, Y’ALL! The nice lady scientist wearing a pink sweater under her lab coat, making a heart shape with her hands, has a caption that says “Let’s fight breast cancer together!”, and says “A $15 donation per PIPETGIRL goes to breast cancer research institutes.” To which I say HEY, what about ME and my non-breast cancer research, can you just give me a $15 discount on a PIPETBOY and make a donation to my lab instead?

Integra isn’t the only one selling the PIPETGIRL, you can also get it from other suppliers, and I plan to order mine from Vitaris, to reward them for their MOST AMAZING GRAPHIC of woman’s head making a kissy-face emerging horizontally from the side of a clipboard and her gloved hand clasping a purple pipettor (which is not actually the PIPETGIRL, which is pink, which is puzzling because why is the advertisement is for the PIPETGIRL, I AM SO CONFUSED) coming from above the clipboard.

[Image of a blonde woman holding a purple pipettor]

Editor’s Note: It’s okay! She has glasses! So we know she’s smart!

The clipboard itself reads “ENDLICH ZIEHT DIE EMANZIPATION INS LABOUR EIN!”, which, if my memory of Grade 10 German is correct*, means “end draws the emancipation in the labour one!” But then underneath the picture it says “Emancipation has finally reached the lab – with full-on girl power!”, which is probably a better translation (though again my recollection of Grade 10 German suggests that “girl power” should be “Mädchen Macht” and I don’t see that on the clipboard anywhere). Which means that I guess we should be thanking PIPETGIRL for finally helping us reach gender equity in science! Who knew that a lighter** pink pipettor was all that we needed, eh?

*which it most certainly is not
**DISCLAIMER: NOT ACTUALLY LIGHTER

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